TOLERANCE

In this short, Benny needs to learn some tolerance, real good bad. Homeless Beethoven is called upon and things get rip roaring silly.

(Scene opens in the park, picking baseball teams)

Benny: Henry

Andrew: Chaim

Benny: (mosys over to two asian siblings, checks their teeth, how strong they are, their testacles) Ok you two, come with me.

Andrew: Hey! You can't take two players at once!

Benny: (pulling out scroll) Under the Jim Crowe Laws, these two are only 3/5 of a citizen.

Asian boy 1: First of all, we're not black. And second of all, the Jim Crowe Laws ended over 100 years ago.

(Shot cuts to benny wearign a straw hat with a piece of straw in his mouth)

Benny:(with deeply rooted southern hatred) Shut yer god damn mouth, coon.

Andrew: woah woah you have to get your facts straight, budday.

Benny: Well maybe I don't but at least i dont' have a ba donka donk.

Andrew: Dude, you're not even making any sense!

Benny: (spits out quarters from mouth quickly, ther is silence.)

Kid 1: (seriously) that's not funny, benny.

Andrew: We need to get you a history lesson, and we need to get you one fast. (he dials a number on his phone)

Andrew: (casually) Hi, how you doing? Cool, wh - yeah, she's... she's doing great. yeah, umm, like 12:30, 7 in the park? cool, alright later, ha, yea "boola, boola". Later."

12:30 - 7 in the Park

(shot cuts to Benny and Andrew carrying a large clock, walking awkwardly towards the jungle gym. They keep checking the time.)

Andrew: Listen, he's not, umm, his hearing isn't awesome, but it's not not good. (look at camera, nod head). But respect him. (spits on bennys face, benny nods head and wipes off spit. Beethoven slides head first out of the tube squealing)

Beethoven: what's the problem here. What?

Andrew: What?

Beethoveen: What? One of you boys called me? (He speaks in gibbrish; what is written here is what he is supposed to say. He plays air piano as he speaks)

Andrew: Listen, i'm going to leave you two alone, i have to take a dump. (He goes off into the distance and takes a dump wtih a desk, calculator, and pad. He is doing his bills.)

Beethoven: So you want to learn about what?

Benny: (Instinctively) What? (He snaps back into it) THey want me to learn about tolerance.

(Beethoven looks around, plays magical air 5th symphony, snaps his fingers, and they are in sam goody.)

Beethoven: You hear that? That is good music. Good COLORED music. Good SPANISH music!

(He throws a deranged fit) What?

Benny: Wha.... (Beethoven slaps him before he can get it all out. He falls into a perplexed silence. Beethoven hits him again)

Beethoven: Don't sass me boy. I was in the viet nam war. Colored, some of the best, best... etc (He grabs DMX record) Put it in your pants. It's fine, I'm old, etc.

Benny: But beethoven... (Beethoven makes a crazy fuss, singing like a crazyman over his protests)

Beethoven: Home some of that sweetcakes

Benny: Did you just call me sweetcakes?

Beethoven: (Stares at him) (Licks teeth) (Smells benny's neck sexually) it smells like a man.